Bingo Broadcasting Corporation

As an antidote to the BBC Wales's dumbed-down election bingo

I am offering an alternative 'spot-the BBC cliche' contest.

Here are the phrases you are likely to hear in the BBC's election coverage, and what they really mean:

'BBC Wales understands' = 'we asked a bloke if he would say something to give us a headline, and promised him anonymity if he did so'.

'Labour has claimed' = 'Labour has something to be proud of, but we're not going to admit it'

'Conservatives have promised' = 'they're not Labour so we won't undermine their claim by qualifying it'

'The charity states' = 'charities are nice people so it must be true and we won't challenge them about it'

'With polling day just a few days away all of the main parties are focusing on some of the main issues' = 'we haven't got a clue what's the important issue today, and ITV hasn't done a poll we can report on, and no-one is visiting from London, and Vaughan's got the day off'

All of the above can be found in current BBC Wales stories on their election website or on BBC Wales news bulletins.

More to come.